Sometimes I say “eff that. I don’t feel appreciated/useful” or this is too consuming/draining” or “they can totally do this themselves” (this one especially) and stop helping someone with something. although prior to my support being taken away never needend/used my help/presence, ..they immediately crash and get hurt or in some super sticky situation.

Considered: their suffering.

..What I feel most is usually a guilt-“Fuck now we really have some work ahead of us” blend conflicting heavily w/ what feels like a most genuine concern for the person, their pain, and the situation.

I forgot how I summed this up when I laid this post out in my head, but I had a weird feeling that was gonna happen earlier tonight. Gladly, it didn’t.

Werd